Today is the final instalment in our series. As such, it is important to emphasise the character traits of a Christian counsellor.
a) CONTINUOUSLY CULTIVATE A GODLY CHARACTER
ROM 5:4-5 AMP
And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation.
Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.
Human action is driven by character. Counsellors must possess Godly characters, live by example, abide by what they teach and believe in. The principle and foundation of spiritual growth they teach from the word of God and lay down for counselees must also be seen in their lives. In so doing, their work will bear fruit and their efforts will yield results. And Holy Spirit will manifest faithfully in their life and ministry.
b) BE PATIENT
Proverbs 14:29 AMP
He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is hasty of spirit exposes and exalts his folly.
Proverbs 15:18 AMP
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger appeases contention.
Counsellors must have patience. Usually most problems encountered during counselling are spiritual; and spiritual problems require patience in order to be able to cope with them. Many of these problems are internalised in the system, an indication that it may take time to free the counselee from them.
Therefore, Counsellors must bear much, follow the counselee with patience and show understanding in every way possible, during each and every counselling session.
c) BE A GOOD LISTENER
Proverbs 18:13 AMP
He who answers a matter before he hears the facts--it is folly and shame to him.
Counsellors must be good listeners so as to create space for the Holy Spirit to work during counselling sessions. They must not be in a hurry and quick to end the session. They must pay attention to every detail that surfaces during counselling.
d) COUNSELLORS MUST NOT BREAK FAITH
1 JOHN 2:28 AMP
And now, little children, abide (live, remain permanently) in Him, so that when He is made visible, we may have and enjoy perfect confidence (boldness, assurance) and not be ashamed and shrink from Him at His coming.
Counsellors are custodians of very personal secrets. They must not break faith and the confidence reposed on them by counselees. Counsellors must know that they are the representative of Christ at the counselling table and that the counselling table is a covenant table. They must not divulge any secrets. Doing so will chase the counselee away and run the risk of them seeking help from sources that are not Godly (or safe) and will in the long run put the reputation of the church at stake.
e) BURDEN BEARING
EXODUS 18:22 AMP
And let them judge the people at all times; every great matter they shall bring to you, but every small matter they shall judge. So it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you.
ISAIAH 10:27 AMP
And it shall be in that day that the burden of [the Assyrian] shall depart from your shoulders, and his yoke from your neck. The yoke shall be destroyed because of fatness [which prevents it from going around your neck].
Good Counsellors are burden bearers. They must share the burden of the counselees with them by praying and showing them love. They must encourage and assist the counselees to empty their hearts and souls, and hand them over to Jesus Christ the ultimate burden bearer.
CONCLUSION
Christian counselling should be used as a vehicle for moving people out of sin to righteousness. It should be used to bring comfort, hope, restoration and encouragement (Rom 15:4, 13). It should be used to win souls for Christ. Used to pressure anger, bitterness, fear, grudges, malice and resentment out of the heart (Eph 4:31).
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