HOW TO AVOID OFFENCE

James 3:2

²For we all often stumble and fall and offend in many things. And if anyone does not offend in speech [never says the wrong things], he is a fully developed character and a perfect man, able to control his whole body and to curb his entire nature.

God created human-kind to love and share love, to live in and be at peace with our neighbour. It is God’s will that we live in harmony with one another and live peaceably with all on Earth. God wants us to be in relationships, and have companions and form friendships without hurting each other. He wants husbands and wives to experience the joy of marriage without cheating each other. When God created the first man and put him in Garden of Eden where there was no lack, he was feeling lonely and not happy. Nothing in the Garden could make him happy until God created a woman for him –a companion to love and share love with. Man’s joy was restored and his joy became full. This is still God’s desire today – your happiness! But offence has broken all these intentions of God and created enmity instead of friendship, hatred instead of love, and created war among individuals, families and nations instead of peace.

Prevention

How then do we avoid offence and live peaceably with all? The only way to avoid offence is to prevent it from happening at all. This may sound so obvious but it is true. Prevention is better than cure. One may argue that the scripture says that offence will surely come and therefore it is impossible to prevent it. But a look at the scripture will show that there is severity of punishment awaiting OFFENDERS.

Luke 17:1

 ¹AND [Jesus] said to His disciples, Temptations (snares, traps set to entice to sin) are sure to come, but woe to him by or through whom they come! In Luke 17:1, the bible says that offence will surely come but anguish and despair will come upon the one through which offence comes. Who wants to be damned, who wants to be punished and who wants to be destroyed? I’m pretty sure nobody! Until you realise that all your actions, knowingly and unknowingly, wittingly or unwittingly affect your neighbour then you will know why the bible was pretty hard on offenders. Child of God, the LORD never created you offensive or an offender, you are created as innocent as a dove in nature. You can crucify whatever is causing you to offend your brother or neighbour on the altar of Calvary. Ask for the grace to do it and Holy Spirit will give you step by step instructions on how not to. But you must make sure you are sensitive to His voice, promptings and leadings. If you fall far from the mark He will convict you and tell you to go and make right quickly with the person you have hurt.

Mark 9:42-48.

⁴²And whoever causes one of these little ones (these believers) who acknowledge and cleave to Me to stumble and sin, it would be better (more profitable and wholesome) for him if a [huge] millstone were hung about his neck, and he were thrown into the sea. ⁴³And if your hand puts a stumbling block before you and causes you to sin, cut it off! It is more profitable and wholesome for you to go into life [that is really worthwhile] maimed than with two hands to go to hell (Gehenna), into the fire that cannot be put out.  ⁴⁵And if your foot is a cause of stumbling and sin to you, cut it off! It is more profitable and wholesome for you to enter into life [that is really worthwhile] crippled than, having two feet, to be cast into hell (Gehenna). ⁴⁷And if your eye causes you to stumble and sin, pluck it out! It is more profitable and wholesome for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell (Gehenna), ⁴⁸Where their worm [which preys on the inhabitants and is a symbol of the wounds inflicted on the man himself by his sins] does not die, and the fire is not put out.

In Mark 9:42-48, the bible is talking about various offenses and their punishments. Looking at these verses who honestly wants to suffer such a terrible fate and punishment? Who amongst us will even want one of his/her eyes to be plucked out so that he/she can make heaven? I am sure nobody wants such pain before he or she can make heaven. So prevention is the answer. And because God wants every one of us to make heaven we must try to avoid offending one another. Offence is a terrible sin before God.

Check and Cross-check your Actions

Child of God, we can actually live peaceably with all without offending our neighbours. Check and cross check your actions before you carry them out. Ask yourself, how will my neighbour feel, if I proceed with my actions? Will I hurt them by my actions, will my actions promote Godly love and improve my relationship with friends and neighbours or will it worsen it? Ask yourself, what will I benefit from hurting friends, neighbours or even that stranger you have never met before?

Ask Yourself

Ask, what is my desire? Note, desire simply means STRONG WISH to have or do something. Is your desire to correct previous wrongs, mistakes and errors or is your desire to impose and make yourself boss over others? If your desire is to correct previous mistakes and errors, ask yourself am doing it in love or with the love of God (see Christian counselling series in our archives, also read 1 Corinthians 13). If you want to assert that you are the boss, note that Jesus Christ throughout His earthly ministry never regarded Himself as the boss. He was a servant to all - to both God and human-kind. He lived a life full of humility and meekness, an example for us all. Finally offence is a serious sin that can only lead someone to a terrible place – eternal hell fire.

Matthew 13:41-43

⁴¹The Son of Man will send forth His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all causes of offense [persons by whom others are drawn into error or sin] and all who do iniquity and act wickedly, ⁴²And will cast them into the furnace of fire; there will be weeping and wailing and grinding of teeth.  ⁴³Then will the righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with God) shine forth like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Let him who has ears [to hear] be listening, and let him consider and perceive and understand by hearing.

As you can see all offenders will be gathered and thrown into the lake of fire, where there will be crying, sorrow and regret. All these things will happen to all who do not repent and stop offending others. I pray this will never be the portion of anybody. I need to emphasize a very important point about this whole process. This cannot be a working of the flesh. If you try to do all of this in your own strength, you might be able to keep it up for a couple of days. If you have incredible will power then maybe a couple of weeks, months at best but you will eventually start to crack under the burden of “doing the right thing by your flesh”. I do guarantee it will start to feel like a burden you cannot handle and you will eventually convince yourself that it is impossible and throw in the towel. Or conversely you will live in a cycle of guilt. This is not Gods way.

Beloved, Jesus is very clear about doing things His way. He says, ‘My yoke is easy and my burden is light.’ What does this really mean on a practical level? Well, firstly it means that you cannot live a victorious life in Christ without Holy Spirit. You need to allow Him to empower you through His grace to overcome this temptation to react or act in a certain way. But you need to ask Him and yield to Him. Think about all the stuff that you used to struggle with when you first started your walk with Christ. Pause and think about what Holy Spirit empowered you to overcome. You want examples? Maybe you used to have a swearing problem, or maybe you struggled with pornography and sexual immorality or gossip and half truths and exaggerations. The point is not what the issue was. The point is, to you it seemed like it was this insurmountable mountain at the time. However, with the leading of Holy Spirit your desire for such things gradually waned until it was no more. Also note this conviction was the leading of the Holy Spirit, He did not emphasize everything that you were doing wrong. He made the decision about what area needed attention and how it should be dealt with.

Nothing has changed, except that sometimes we tend to forget who was helping us and we start thinking we did it ourselves. So we figure if we “Do it our way, we can overcome”. Not so beloved, the flesh will never conquer the flesh. Child of God, the bible tells us that when we walk in [and by] the Spirit [of God] we will not gratify the desires of the flesh at all. This is a place of freedom where the working of the Spirit of God causes you to desire to do and do the right thing. This is the purpose of God’s grace. His grace gives us the spiritual power to overcome what the flesh desires – which is being offensive deliberately or un-deliberately. Let him who has ears to hear, hear the word of God.